an idea?
a shadow of a feeling?
something that once was?
How do I just LET GO? when i have let go in the past, this 'idea', this 'ghost of what couldve been/could be' finds me again...so maybe the universe is telling me to just wait.
but in truth, im not the most patient of girls. And believe me, in this particular circumstance, I have shelved my feelings and questions, and put my concerns on the backburner. I feel like my steadfast patience should be rewarded somehow. If not by the subject of this post, then by the Gods of Time or maybe even cupids arrow.
whatever happened to taking a leap of faith? where is john cusak with his boombox? did romeo get lost on his way to climbing up my trellis and onto my balcony? The grand gesture will forever be my white whale-the thing i will always search for, always elusive, mythic, and mysterious.
Shall i follow my heart? or at least what my heart felt so long ago?
thats the thing about hearts-they change.
and i dont want to look like an asshole. lets be honest, noone wants to be THAT person. the one who just GOES for it with GUSTO and optimism only to be brought back to a harsh and cynical reality.
i ramble...
i guess im just torn between LETTING GO, washing my hands of it for a WHILE-until i have been absolved of any DEEP feelings for this subject...or torn between just DOING IT. biting the bullet, even if it shoots me right in the throat.
these questions they dont PLAGUE me. im a busy girl! ....but songs, movies, moments....make me wax poetic, furrow my brow, write silly poems, and get angry that no move has been made. we're wasting time. and no one is guarunteed tomorrow. im sure the fact that i have 3 sick grandparents and am reminded how fragile life is, the topic of CARPE DIEM has been on my mind. whats the point of living if you dont have love?
what to do what to do
what to do about me and you
you say you want the john cusack from say anything, but is that the kind of guy you go after in real life? hes the dorky shy guy who never seems to get it right or have the nerve to ask you out. john cusack has *never* been the guy to make you swoon until the moment he thinks he's lost you forever.
ReplyDeleteif you're only giving raging douches a chance you'll never find that sweet sensitive guy whose only goal in life is to make you happy. if they spend more time in the mirror than you, they dont give a damn about making you fall madly in love bc their heart belongs to themselves lol.
You say you want that John Hughes-made lover, but are you living the life of molly ringwald before she's realized that the great looking, strapping guys have nothing on her best friend? :P
if my life wasnt so completely filled with bad news and complications, i would seriously consider buying a boombox ;) Unfortunately it is, which sucks. know what else sucks? the guys always told molly ringwald they loved her a thousand times before she listened. maybe there's a john cusack in your life, but you just havent realized it yet