the new abc's

these are some observations, some generalizations....but for ME and MY life and MY experiences, these are my new abc's. disclaimer-these only apply to heterosexual men. and not all of these are 100 percent true. there are exceptions to every rule. MAYBE

a is for ADAM, ANdRew (andy), Aaron. these boys arent really bad at all. dont RUN the other way immediately-dont even keep one foot out the door. but do always be certain that ADAMS are incredibly cocky. Andrews are pretty douchey, especially if they go by ANDY and they are over the age of 9. In kindergarten an ANDREW broke my heart because he picked an oh so simple laura over my complicated grass stained kneed lanky self. still bitter. and Aarons are two faced. they want you to think they are artsy, but really they have a comic book between the pages of war and peace.

B is for brady, brody, bradley....basically 'b's are footballl stars who miss the glory days of high school. or insert whatever type of mediocre teenage activity suits your man. a tennis star who peaked in 11th grade and still sports his letter jacket. you get it. again,not BAD people, just proceed with extreme caution to prepare for inevitable callousness.

C cameron, chris. i know one chris who is insanely handsome. but he's a tortured artist. other than that, most c's i know are pretty damn generic and harmless. cody, christopher, craig, charles....nice guys. vanilla. no edge. more prep than panache.

D is for David, Devin, Derek. Most dereks i know lead with their genitals in every situation. Davids are dependable where Daves are douchey. and Devin peeked into my window when i was changing in 8th grade so, devins are despicable.

E is for eric. erics are spunky, dramatic, argumentative. but always up for a good time. if a good time to you is a bar fight, a fist fight, a food fight....really any sort of fight.


to be continued........................................................