lately ive noticed that the word ROMANCE has escaped from every aspect of modern dating. boys, here are some characteristics of TRUE ROMANCE that us girls MIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. CALLING to ASK for a DATE consisting of a nice dinner/dancing/bowling/boating/theatre (NOT MOVIES)
2. the man actually pulling out his wallet and at the very LEAST offering to pay for the evenings activities.
3. whatever happened to JUST KISSING!?!
4. turning off all cellphones/twitters/facebook/email devices during said date.
5. wearing cologne and having fresh breath.
6. ask us questions about ourselves and BE interested, dont just act interested while you WAIT to speak.
7. when we walk together, stand on the outside of me, closest to the road. and always offer your jacket if im chilly.
8. hug me really really tight all of the time, for no apparent reason.
9. make me laugh and laugh at me.
10. TURN ONS: tulips. shoulder massages. long hair. v-necks. tatoos. dark eyes. warm smiles. new yorkers. artists.boys that pat my hair. kiss my forehead. make me mix cds. call me your muse. like my poetry. read classic literature. be a poet with me, even if you dont tell a soul. let me talk you into a pair of skinny jeans. compliment my clothes, even if theyre kooky. love my family. love my friends. tell me im all you need, and that you just cant get enough. inspire me. be kind, always. tip generously. dont put me on the backburner, ever. be my partner in crime. be spontaneous. be understanding. be patient. be the rock that i need.
new romance/2011 dating normals that we wish were nevers.
1. text me or facebook message me to ask if i want to go to a movie or 'swing by your apt' for a drink.
2. dont make me pay on the first few dates. even if i put up a fight. you look like a scrub--loser!
3. just because i give in for a goodnight kiss and or wore a slightly provocative outfit doesnt mean that im jumping into bed with you and have sex all night. TAKE IT SLOW boys! GEEEEZZZZ.
4. boys on their cell phones even during the most casual of first dates is SUCH a turn off. and a guy with a twitter account might as well just chop off his genitals and put on a dress.
5. axe deoderant does NOT i repeat NOT count as cologne. its our first couple of dates-spring for some nice smelling clean cologne. i KNOW mens magazines at have samples....ftw
6. boys now only talk about themselves, their money, their fraternity (BARFFFF), their EX GIRLS (A HUGEEEEEEEEE NOOO NOOOOO. talk about an ex around me, and seal your fate right then. also, its not sexy to constantly talk about your 'craft' whether it be art, theatre, acting, sculpting...not sexy at all.
7. when we walk together dont walk in front of me. you could turn around and some homeless maniac could have me hostage. pay attention and wait for me, asshole.
8. if you never touch me unless its in an effort to get me naked, you will never get me naked.
9. if you dont have a sense of humor, dont bother. middle school humor and bad jokes need not apply.
10. turn offs:WHINING, bossy boys, bitchy boys, cheap boys, smelly boys, one-uppers, big talkers, sex crazed man whores, boys who use the term FAG or any racial slurs, ignorance, intolerance, short hair, polo shirts, khaki pants, sweater vests (unless you are a super cool hipster), clean shaven baby faces (gross!), and boys who dont treat their mothers nicely. boys that shop at the mall. boys with monogrammed anything. boys who are boys and not men.
LISTEN UP BOYS! CHANGE YOUR WILY WAYS AND WATCH THE GIRLS LINE UP. WHEN OH WHEN WILL I FIND A GROWN UP?!?!!
I think you're in for a rather difficult time trying to find that around here. If you ever do find a guy like that though, you should probably make him take you to that redneck winery in lindale. C'est très romantique ;)
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