why is it that i am ONLY attracted to boys/men/dudes with CRACKS? i am positively certain that this inclination for a mess to clean up reflects on ME and my state of being. but this does not erase the fact that i am loser prone.
white bread boys bore me. if only i could be one of those girls that falls in like with a vanilla boy and makes him a little edgier by introducing him to cool music, outfitting him in v-necks, and talking him into tattoos. but if a vanilla boy even looks my way, i look the OTHER way. to be honest though i think that vanilla boys steer clear of me; perhaps they can see MY cracks and are terrified.
here is my chief complaint: i have spent the last 7 years in los angeles. home of the skinny, tattooed, moody, musically inclined dudes who have artsy style and greasy hair. NOW i am in texas. No, not austin, but TYLER. home of: pleated khakis, carhart jackets, UT BASEBALL CAPS, and chewing tabacco. I am just as forgein to them as they are to me---i find myself checking out the 3 homeless people that live in tyler just because they are closer to the kind of dude im attracted to than the guys with houses and jobs that reside here. I feel so misunderstood in my beat up witch boots and boyfriend blazer...sometimes i look around and contemplate what life would be like if i wore a bebe top and guess jeans with straightend hair and a fake coach purse. then i remember who i am, what i am, what i love, who loves me, and why....and i realize blending in is for losers. and someday i will meet a handsome, skinny, artistic, tatooed, blue eyed fella who GETS me, and we can patch up each others cracks.
absolutely loved this post.
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