i feel like a part of me is missing.
that load upon my back and the thundercloud above my head are gone. its a really scary thing to realize that for most of my life i relied on my demons for so many different things. they filled my mind with ammunition-song lyrics and mad crazy collage art....stories and poems...
now that i have been on antidepressants for a month or so, i have noticed that the feelings that i DO feel, are lukewarm. im so used to being LOW or HIGH, that feeling so balanced also leaves me wondering if i am feeling numb. uninspired.
its a strange type of longing-missing the darkness that became second skin.
i know that a practical person would say well you are giving up demons for daisys and shadows for light, but i miss the drive-the NEED to get all of the words and thoughts out of me.
the jury is still out...can i still express myself artistically without the angsty girl ive always been? i hope so.
No comments:
Post a Comment